Saturday, February 11, 2012

Mama, there's a GIRL in the castle

(alternately titled 'a really lengthy post' ;-)

When Ton' called me at 10:32 last night,
(he almost always calls me when he's on his way home.
T used to, too.
Just a little courtesy I insisted on when they began driving
and the sweet habit stuck)
"I laughed. I cried. It moved me, Mom" were the first words out of his mouth.

A few weeks ago,
I guess it was when Tyler was in LA,
Tony just couldn't stand it anymore, so he called his pop
and said, "I'm pretty sure I found the girl I can spend my life with."
To which, apparently, Tyler began talking and wouldn't.shut.up.
(He can tend to over-talk sometimes ;-)
After Tyler got home,
we had a few meetings to determine what do with this info.
I mean, how does courting work with someone 
who may have never heard of the term?
(And what exactly is courtship anyways?!)
How does Tony protect her heart
and his
in this 'figuring it out' stage?
What about school?
Are we soo weird, that we'll run the poor girl off?
Have we ruined the boy's chances for happiness
with our ridiculous notions?
See - we pretty much think recreational dating is foolish.
And that hearts are best given to one person
and one person only.
Saves a lot of heartbreak that way.
And contrary to popular belief,
that kind of heartbreak isn't necessary for growing up.
(stepping off my soapbox. sorry.)
And everyone knows love is a little on the blind side,
so what if Tony was overlooking some major character quality
that would essentially render them incompatible?
We couldn't give complete and unequivocal blessing
for a relationship
with a girl we'd never met.

About two weeks ago,
after not sleeping for several days,
He talked to her
(it's not as though he never talked to her - duh,
this was a special talk ;-)
"I've never dated anyone, by choice. 
I haven't wanted to give away pieces of my heart....
So, what are you doing Saturday evening?
Want to come to my house and meet the fam?"

Poor thing was nervous all week.
I wanted to do something to ease her mind a bit,
but I was afraid I might just freak her out more, so I didn't.
Tyler was a nervous wreck all week, too.
Tony and I were pretty much fine :-)
We downplayed things to the kids,
just telling them Tony had 'a friend' coming over,
and not that Tony's entire life hung in the balance.
Honestly, I was a little afraid if Lily knew she was special,
she might just come out and tell her
"You should marry my brother,
he's old enough to be married now, you know".
(she often tells him that)

Not surprisingly, Kacy is a sweetie and seemed to fit right in.
And we didn't spot any red flags.
Not that we expected to, but the whole love is blind thing...
(Once, T brought a girl over
and in less than one evening,
the rest of the family knew she was not the girl for him.
It took him a little longer to see what we saw.)

Tony was ready to charge ahead,
but Tyler counseled him to wait just a bit,
and do some more praying
and to think of what issues might be 'deal-breakers'
Not terribly romantic,
but there wasn't any sense 
in either of them getting terribly invested in one another
if they were incompatible on a serious issue.
He got to work right away on his list.

Last night, they went on a date,
armed with their lists
(he'd asked Kacy to come up with a list of her own, too)
Many of the items on their lists were the same.
Like (and I'm paraphrasing) 
"What would your response be 
if you were pregnant and found out the baby might have Downs?"

They finished going through their lists,
and Tony had one final question.
He pulled out his Bible and read from 1 Corinthians 13
(he had it memorized, but was afraid he'd get it wrong)
then said, "I don't know if I can learn to love like this,
but I want to try. Would you like to learn with me?"


  1. Luke's reaction was 'awwwww!'
    mine was to start crying and smiling miss congeniality style ;)
    and saying 'awwww'.
    Happy for him, can't wait to meet her.
    Tony's a great young man with good judgement so i am expecting to like her very well :)

  2. Okay, I am crying too. That was an incredible story!

  3. Awww! My heart dropped a notch or two and the tears welled up. Wow! I LOVE their beginning story! When do the rest of us get to meet her???

  4. Good for you, Tony!
    Good for you, Mom and Dad!!
    The Lord does pretty GOOD too,huh!!
    Love and blessings to all!


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