careful what you wish for

Just yesterday

I was telling a dear friend,

"I wish he'd just realize it's not working

and take the stupid dog himself!"

Well

he did

and he is - right now

and you know what?
It's harder than I ever would have imagined.

I'm nauseous.

I'm sobbing and can't even see the stupid keyboard

which is a problem, since I can't type.

I wanted it to work out.

But it hasn't.

It just hasn't.

The dog simply wouldn't abide by the few rules we set for him.

If it were just about the dog

I could have let him go 2 years ago.

But it's also about the boy.

About the boy

who is fast becoming a man.

~

Ton'

I love you!

I am more proud of you than you can imagine.

And, I'm sorry.

~

and now

I think I'll go throw up.