I was thinking today...

Several years ago,

I dreaded hearing my father’s voice on the other end

when I picked up the phone.

He was making bad choice after bad choice

and he knew better.

I was so disgusted with him, I just wanted to write him off.

He’d hurt me.

Indirectly, but still painful.

It doesn’t matter how old a child is when their parents divorce;

(I was nearly 30)

it sucks.

(no, kids, you still can‘t say ‘sucks‘)

It shakes you to your very core.

You feel like everything you’ve ever known to be true

is just a lie.

So,

I really felt quite justified in wanting no relationship

with the man who once danced me on his feet.

I used to be daddy’s girl.

Suddenly I was nobody’s,

‘cause I sure didn’t want to be his anymore!

I would have been happy to never talk to him again.

~

Tyler wouldn’t let me.

‘Never talk to him again’ that is.

Oh, there were a few times

when I was especially fragile

that he intercepted the phone for me

(not that the calls were terribly frequent)

but usually,

he encouraged me to love my father in spite of himself.

To honor him,

simply because God had made him my father.

I chose to listen to Tyler and at least attempt to honor my dad.

To be honest,

I still struggle today to know how to do that well.

The difference, though, is now I want to honor him,

not just because Tyler told me it was the right thing to do,

but because I truly want to.

The last time he called,

I was happy to hear his voice,

“Tracy. This is your father…”

~

I was thinking today..

How strong my husband was during that time.

It would have been so much easier for him to let me have my way.

To protect me in the way I wanted to be protected,

not the way I needed to be protected.

I can be such a stinker when things don’t go my way.

(or at least I used to could be - now, I’m pretty much sweet all the time.

That’s a joke, Son)

~

Tyler,

I love you!

More today than yesterday

and certainly more than 11, 12 years ago;

obviously far more than 22 years ago when we first started out.

Thank you for protecting me

For correcting me

For loving me.

For really loving me.

I am so proud of you!