Wednesday, August 14, 2019

significant dates

Yesterday, I felt off and out of sorts
for no good reason.

life's been busy lately,
I've got some hard deadlines looming
(one of which is to turn in 
Intent to Homeschool forms - today!)
nothing that should be causing
the severe grouchiness
and heaviness in my chest.

I snapped at kids,
and deep sighed
(not the good kind of deep sighing,
like when you get to the ocean).

I wanted to lay in bed and kick my feet
and have a big ol' fit
(thankfully I stopped short of that one).

I tried to cry,
because maybe then I'd feel better.

What the heck was my problem?!

I went through the calendar.
No, it's not the 19th (date Dad had the accident)
It's not the 27th (date he died)
It's the 13th for goodness sake.
I have no issues with the 13th.

And then it hit me.

Gramma Joyce died one month ago yesterday.

I don't know why my body and heart
are so affected by significant dates,
even when my mind isn't aware of them,
but that's how I'm wired.

Once I recognized the occasion
and grieved my loss (again)
I was fine.

I love you, Gramma!
I'm so happy you are in heaven now


  1. Hugs and prayers! I have had the same kind of thing...not worried mentally but my body stresses out!

  2. Grief works in such mysterious ways. It’s so good that you are able to stop and figure out what is wrong and deal with it.
    I have been working on dealing first instead of flipping out. Being aware of our emotions is the best thing we can do for ourselves and especially for the ones around us. Lots of love today and in the days to come. 💕💕💕

  3. My mom does this, too! I only feel sad once I realize what day it is, but my mom feels it/suffers it even when she doesn't realize the date. You must be extra special sensitive people with the best hearts (my mom is, and I know you are, too).


You're leaving me a comment?? Oh goody! I love comments :-)