Thursday, November 11, 2010

the very last last time


Well.
That's that.
We're done.

Finished.

Lexi had her last nurse Tuesday morning
at 8:00.
It followed her second-to-last nursing
which was Sunday night around 10.

She's still asking to nurse occasionally
but she doesn't treat me like a deaf imbecile anymore 
when I gently tell her, "No, Momma doesn't have much milk left."
She just gets angry.
Angry
I can handle.
If she got sad
well
that would just undo me.

I thought I was fine with it.
After I realized I could actually drink one now,
I even bought a fancy Java beverage at Sonic this morning
where I took Ton' for a treat 
after we dropped off his application package at UAFS
(before remembering
we are only supposed to be drinking H20 right now 
in order to raise money for a well.
Since we pretty much always only drink water
it's a non-issue. Except this one time....sigh)
anyways.
I was fine with it
until I started writing this post.
And it hit me.
Tuesday
was the very last time
I'll have a last time
of nursing.
And it passed without fanfare.
Like so many 'growing up's do.
It's really stupid that I'm crying right now
'cause I don't even like nursing all that much.
But I do like loving my babies
and now
I have one less way to love her.
Lex' did so love to nurse!



7 comments:

  1. Ahh... Dear, I fully understand!! Hugs!!!
    (I'll write you an email soon (?) detailing what's happening here.)

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  2. I love you sister!

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  4. I cried ( am teary) with you...my baby is 3 and it still hits me that that is that and it will never happen again....oh girl.

    I am glad you got your Fancy Java!!! (SUPER HUGE(((HUGS)))

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  5. This is so sweet! :) My Emaline had her last nurse on Aug. 24th, at 18 1/2 months old.

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  6. So sweet. I think it's fine to cry. I am curious to see whether my boys have had their last nurses...we haven't nursed since sometime in August. I don't even have a date. almost 4 years and 2 years and I don't even know when it stopped. Maybe they'll want to try again once or twice when my milk comes in, and then I can have a date.

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