the very last last time

Well.

That's that.

We're done.

Finished.

Lexi had her last nurse Tuesday morning

at 8:00.

It followed her second-to-last nursing

which was Sunday night around 10.

She's still asking to nurse occasionally

but she doesn't treat me like a deaf imbecile anymore 

when I gently tell her, "No, Momma doesn't have much milk left."

She just gets angry.

Angry

I can handle.

If she got sad

well

that would just undo me.

I thought I was fine with it.

After I realized I could actually drink one now,

I even bought a fancy Java beverage at Sonic this morning

where I took Ton' for a treat 

after we dropped off his application package at UAFS

(before remembering
we are only supposed to be drinking H20 right now 

in order to raise money for a well.
Since we pretty much always only drink water

it's a non-issue. Except this one time....sigh)

anyways.

I was fine with it

until I started writing this post.

And it hit me.

Tuesday

was the very last time

I'll have a last time

of nursing.

And it passed without fanfare.

Like so many 'growing up's do.

It's really stupid that I'm crying right now

'cause I don't even like nursing all that much.

But I do like loving my babies

and now

I have one less way to love her.

Lex' did so love to nurse!