sadness

Dallas, our grandpuppy, Tony's puppy, died in my arms last night.

I am so sad. So, so sad.

I was apprehensive about him moving in, to be honest;

Lola wasn't overly found of the little thing - he made her quite nervous.

So I'd told T&K that Dallas could live here on a trial basis; I didn't want to torture Lola for months.

Lola adapted to Dallas just fine,

and Dallas adapted to life in a full house pretty quickly.

He loved all the kids, but Josiah and Brandon were his favorites.

Of course they would be, they are the most like Tony.

And Dallas loved Tony!

On Thursday, when it was raining, I traumatized the poor thing, trying to make him go potty in the pelting rain.

I made it up to him by carrying him around in the ERGO for an hour or so.

Tyler gave him a bath on Saturday, washing him with men's body wash, so he'd smell (almost) like he did before Tony left 

(Tony always washed him with Old Spice; all we had was Suave)

You'd think a bath would be torture - considering how he acted about the rain, 

but no, Dallas loves warm baths.

He was so soft and yummy afterwards.

Lola got a bath, too. 

Only, Tyler didn't wash her with men's body wash.

And she is not a fan of warm baths.

Sunday afternoon, I smiled, watching the two of them playing together

and thought, Lola is going to miss him when he leaves.

I had no idea he'd be leaving us so soon.

He was fine all day, but come bedtime we started noticing a few things weren't quite right.

Around 9:00, I decided he was sick, so I texted Kacy to let her know something was up with him.

I really figured he'd be fine in no time, but thought she should know, in case she wanted to come home...

I snuggled him next to me  on the bed while Tyler and I watched an episode of Bones.

Around 10 he was still pretty lethargic, but responded to kids coming in the room (again!) by wagging his tail.

I called Brandon in, to see how Dallas would respond to him.

He lifted his head and wagged his tail more vigorously.

I took it as a good sign.

We watch him pretty closely, but as you know, there's always crap on the floors here,

so I figured maybe he ate something and had a tummyache,

and he'd be better in a few hours....

Brandon and I fixed him up a bed in the chair right next to me, and around 11, Dallas crawled into it.

His breathing seemed kinda labored.

I was worried, but not terribly so.

I kept praying that he'd be okay.

Kacy would come home and take him to the vet in the morning...

I put my hand on his tummy as I laid in bed.

He'd wagged for the kids. He must be feeling a little better.

Around 11:20, he climbed up next to me.

I grabbed the towel I'd put in his bed, thinking it was quite possible he'd pee.

Encouraged with his movement,  I decided we should sleep on the couch, so we wouldn't disturb Tyler's sleep.

I felt kinda silly being so watchful, but I'm a momma. And mommas are watchful. 

He did pee, so I was glad I'd grabbed the towel.

I turned on the light.

Dallas did not look good.

I ran in to Tyler and cried, "He's dying. Dallas is dying."

So Tyler came and sat by me and held me.

While I held Dallas and cried

as Dallas died in my arms.

And I am so, so sad.