Monday, January 11, 2016

new year, new me (?)

As we all know,
my body is particularly uncooperative with my slimming efforts.

Last year was one 
very long, 
very unproductive struggle
in that department.

I had gained 5 lbs during the holidays (2014)
and I spent the entire year (2015)
I kid you not,
the entire year
losing and regaining those 5 lbs.
Never once dipping
even an ounce
below my lowest low of 2014.

I read so many stinking books, and tried several different diet theories
and nothing worked.
(more carbs (though still LC by most standards) 
and fewer fat grams as recommended in Burn the Fat Feed the Muscle
did not agree with me at all;
my emotional and mental well being suffered a lot during those few weeks!)

The only way I lost any of those 5 lbs
was when I fat-fasted
which, in a nutshell is 1000 - 1200 calories,
85% or more of them coming from healthy fats
(raw cream, coconut oil, butter, MCT oil)
but still I lost those lbs at a much slower rate than most people do
while on a fat fast,
and as soon as I returned to my normal eating
(about 1500 calories of highish fat, moderate protein, low carb)
I'd gain them right back.

so. very. maddening.

There was one day in the fall that I weighed as soon as I got up 
to fix Tyler breakfast and send him off to work.

I was super tired, so after waving goodbye,
I turned off the lights
and went back to bed,
something I have given myself freedom to do,
in an effort to heal my body from years of sleep deprivation.

When I woke up an hour an a half later, I went pee,
then for kicks, weighed again.

I knew that it wouldn't be my 'true weight',
that it'd be a false low, from being somewhat dehydrated,
seeing that it was a few hours into the day and I hadn't even had any water,
but I was pretty desperate for some good news from the scale,
even if it wasn't  entirely accurate news....

I had gained 1.6 lbs!
So much for a small victory.
How the hell did I gain weight 
while sleeping?!

It was then that I  pretty much lost hope.

I still ate very carefully
(or more accurately - very fearfully)
but I gave up on exercising.
I just couldn't talk myself into working out any more.

Some days, I'd get hungry 
and eat an actual lunch of food
in the afternoon,
but for the most part, 
I pretty much had a cup of coffee for breakfast
and another for lunch,
and ate dinner with the family.

During the holidays,
I allowed myself treats,
but didn't go too crazy.

By the time we finished with all of the Christmas get-togethers,
(technically - we aren't finished yet - we still have one more party)
I was pretty sick of 'cheating'
and just wanted to eat healthy.
I'm tired of being scared to eat.
And I've gotten flabby from not exercising. Ugh.

I decided that in 2016 
(starting Jan 4th)
I'd get back to doing Trim Healthy Mama,
(and actually mix in E meals,
instead of only eating S)
since that's what I'd lost weight with 
in 2013 and early 2014.

Being flabby isn't acceptable to me,
so I'll work out at least 5 days a week.


One week in.
How's my plan working so far?

I worked out 6 days last week,
but I'd really like to develop a better plan,
so I'm not trying to figure out what I feel like doing at the moment.

I ate, for the most part, every 3-4 hours,
mostly deep S,
but a few heavy Ss, and some E and FP meals and snacks, too
(for the non-THMers: S meals are satisfying - fueled by fats, with very few carbs,
E meals are energizing - fueled with healthy carbs, with 5 or fewer grams of fat
and FP are fuel pull meals, meaning they don't contain many carbs or much fat,
so they pull from your fat stores. All meals and snacks contain some protein...)

Over the holidays, I'd gained 4 lbs,
(honestly - I'm pretty shocked it was only 4 lbs!!)
but every morning since Tuesday
I've been .2 lbs lighter
(which, for me, is excellent!)
until yesterday morning, when I discovered I'd gained 1.6 lbs.
And then this morning,
I gained another pound.

What the heck?!

I'm not so sure there'll be a new me this year after all.


  1. ok, in all honesty, I think you have a faulty scale. Or wonky floors that make the scale unbalanced and thus unreliable. Either way, I think you are on to something by returning to what worked for you back in 2014. The ultimate goal is to feel better, to feel human and alive again, and we know that the first signs of this are typically seen on that scale number before we feel them in our bodies on a consistent basis. That's why we want to see that number going down!

    You're not one of those scary sleep eaters are you??!! Ha! -- no, it has to be your scale.


  2. "The ultimate goal is to feel better, to feel human and alive again, and we know that the first signs of this are typically seen on that scale number before we feel them in our bodies on a consistent basis. That's why we want to see that number going down!"

    I do have very wonky floors(and everything else) but I've solved that problem by using a huge tile under the scale. Of course, it may be faulty, too, but then - so are my jeans.... : /

    haha ~ pretty sure I'm not a scary sleep eater :-)

  3. Same battle, different part of the world...yargh. Middle age, menopause (aka "mental pause" around here some days); what the heck-itis is a common affliction, I fear. I've decided to aim for healthy and happy by continuing to exercise and watch my intake, but gosh darn it! I feel like this is more work than it should be.


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