graduation 2011

"Are you sentimental?"

She'd asked innocently,

wondering if perhaps

she was a touch too sentimental about the whole thing.

I, without a thought, answered, "Oh, yeah."

"Your first one's the toughest, though," I added

as her eyes brimmed with tears and her voice got shaky.

Then

I sort of felt bad for not being more sentimental;

being a veteran graduator and all has hardened me, I guess.

As I was nursing Lexi later,

I began making a mental list of the things that needed doing.

(I sometimes envy those with kids graduating

from 'regular' school - all they gotta do is show up)

Then I started thinking

about what pictures we might want to use in Tony's video.

I haven't taken many pictures of Tony lately

I'll need to get better about that.

I thought back to different things he's done in the past few years

and regretted the lack of photographic evidence.

A kazillion hours spent working on his sister's house

and not one photo.

Darn!

That was pretty much his entire summer last year.

and I have no record of it

save the one in my mind

and we all know how reliable that's been lately.

So

I went further back in my mind

picturing photos that we do have.

I got to one taken in the playroom in Ft Smith.

TJ and Tony were laying on a pile of pillows

and T was reading to Ton'.

A Hardy Boys mystery, I think.

And my chest got heavy

and my throat started to tighten up.

My eyes began to sting a little.

I had to stop that thought train right there!

Maybe I'm not as tough as I thought.

I'm not ready to graduate another baby!!