picking paint and looking old

I really want to throw my arms across a bar,

lay my head on them,

and

cry.

I'm beginning to think my dad was right;

I

am incapable

of picking paint.

I've lost count of the number of trips I've made

and how many paint samples I've bought.

If we haven't hit double digits yet,

we're close.

But still,

I am no closer to finding 

the

color.

It's all making me very weary.

In addition to the paint choice angst I'm dealing with,

when I was at the paint store today

(not to be confused with when I was there yesterday.

or Friday (twice).....)

a lady (probly 10 yrs older than me) and I were chatting,

and she asked how many kids I had.

I told her 8,

and added that they were spread out over 22 years.

And she said,

"You must have waited a while before you started."

😨

I'm still trying to come up with a response.

But you can see why

I'd really like to fling myself on a bar,

and cry

~

*I don't necessarily mean a bar bar,

it's just that a bar is the right height for upper body flopping on.

(for a short person)

(which I am)

(though I am apparently an ancient short person.)

**to be fair - Dad was joking.

*** but it does sorta feel as if he was being prophetic...

****I checked the mirror when I got home;

I wasn't looking especially haggard

*****If you're curious,

(and I'm sure you are ;-)

this elusive color is a light grey/blue/green

it's more color than white,

but it reads as a neutral - not really a color,

and makes the space feel 

fresh

and inviting

and

tranquil.

Like a slow contented sigh.