We have one child who is particularly lazy.
It isn't that he/she can't work ~ when motivated by reward, this child is amazing,
but when there is no reward, it is like p u l l i n g teeth.
I, personally, am not a big fan of reward based systems.
Plus, I don't want to have to keep up with one.
(perhaps I am lazy myself?)
I just think when you're supposed to work, you work.
period.
I can't tell you how I had to force myself to work when I was sick.
I really had decided that I must be the laziest person on the planet,
until Dr Baker changed up my prescription for my hormone cream.
(which still isn't quite right - but I'm going back soon to remedy that)
I took the first dose on my new cream on my birthday last year
(that's how I remember the date - it was my birthday :-)
and for the first time in years
I wanted to clean.
I wanted to clean ALL THE THINGS.
I wasn't lazy.
I was sick.
But we weren't talking about me,
we were talking about lazy children...
(In googling how to overcome laziness in children,
I came across the following (stupid - and just plain wrong) quote.
The foremost cause is that a child develops laziness through her/his parents by way of observing them in its childhood.
Constantly viewing TV either by a child or an adult develops laziness in the concerned person.
'Cause ya'll know - we watch so much TV around here.
And why one child is afflicted, but not the others...)
In talking about this with Tyler the other day,
I was whining telling him that I didn't want to have to do a rewards system
(even though I've had the sneaking suspicion for awhile now that this child would respond well to it)
Because the real world doesn't work that way, I reasoned.
But then I realized,
actually, it does.
You are paid for work.
You get to keep your job and continue to be paid for work, if you do well.
You lose your job if you don't.
Darn it! The world is based on reward systems.
Now, what reward system to use?
Help a girl out? What do you suggest?
(Keep in mind that we have a tiny house, very little wall space, and lots of kids)
I'm fixing to do a reward system of earning computer time for good school work. That means it's done in a reasonable amount of time with no drama. Then they will earn 20 minutes of computer time (maybe daily, maybe not).
ReplyDeleteI think it'll be win-win b/c my kids have no video games at all since we moved and my middle kids don't know how to type at all. I think this educational computer game time will be a good fix for all the drama we typically experience during school.
computer time ~ that's a good idea
ReplyDeletedaily is good, 'cause you don't have to have a complicated system for keeping up with who did what when & with what attitude for a week/month
that sounds good to me, you get two for the price of one there, work plus education! cool!
ReplyDeleteI did not like handling anything that took too much record keeping on my part, or where there could be loopholes because my kids would always find those.
ReplyDeleteThis is what we did--
We believed that everyone in our home was valuable and had responsibility in our home. We also believed that the kids, as contributing members of our home were entitled to some spending money (not much). We did not like the idea of connecting allowance to certain jobs (too complicated, and not the message we wanted them to get), so we did this:
Developed a job chart--it was basic, clear, and the kids had input and traded jobs based on what they wanted to do. This made the chart the direction giver--not me (I hate being the bad guy), I just reminded kids to check the chart. (one of the jobs was: Anything else mom or dad ask you to do)
The last step was what really worked--we told the kids that they would not get raises in their allowance automatically or by doing more jobs (that was expected). They got raises by showing initiative and responsibility. When they did the jobs better and without any reminders, over time they could earn raises. That is how my husband I get raises at work--initiative, skill, responsibility.
Oh, and we gave the kids plenty of time and control. They always knew what the job was and when it was expected to be done--I didn't care if the clothes were folded at 2:00 or 6:00 as long as it was done by 8:00.
Good luck!